[Saki Aida] Deadshot (Deadlock Vol. 3) – Chapter 9(b) + Afterword

Aaaand we are finally at the end! I’m sorry again for the huge delay. A combination of family visiting from overseas, family medical issues, and work didn’t leave me any time to sit down and translate. Thanks for sticking with me throughout this journey! I’m really glad I was able to finish translating this series, since it’s one of my favourites. I don’t think I’ll be translating any of the spin-offs, sides stories, etc. There are just too many and I’m satisfied with how Yuto’s and Dick’s story ended.

I don’t have any future projects planned so far, except vaguely wanting to pick up another Narise Konohara work. If I do, I’ll be posting here. Until next time!

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Continued from Volume 3 Chapter 9(a).

There was no way one round of sex was enough for the two men who had reunited after a long separation. They had a second round upstairs, this time in Dick’s room.

Since they had already sated their desires on the sofa, this time they savoured each other’s warmth and shared the love they had between them.

As Yuto lay on his stomach, Dick slowly and gently rotated his hips from behind, like he was languidly swimming in the waves of the ocean. Yuto moved along with him, sensual breaths escaping his lips.

He felt like his heart and body were melting. The pleasure was only amplified by love, and knowing that he was loved made the pleasure even deeper.

Even after their carnal hunger was satisfied, Yuto and Dick still nestled close together, exchanging playful, sweet kisses.

“I still feel like I’m dreaming,” Dick murmured, bringing his lips to Yuto’s forehead. “I can’t believe you’re in my arms right now.”

“…You know, you’re a cruel guy,” Yuto said sullenly. Dick looked at him in surprise.

“What do you mean? Did I hurt you somehow? I’m so sorry. I was so wrapped up, I just couldn’t control—”

“Not that, idiot. It’s not about the sex.” Yuto smiled wryly at Dick’s off-the-mark apology and nipped Dick’s earlobe.

“Ow. Then, what are you angry about?”

“You didn’t tell me how you really felt until just as I was about to leave. Of course I’d be angry. Didn’t you know how I felt all that time?”

“Hey, I could say the same for you,” Dick retorted at Yuto’s accusation. “You said you were gonna stay at a hotel, so I thought you only saw me as a friend.”

“That was… well, I thought we were over because you were acting so aloof.”

“Can you blame me?” Dick said hastily. “I couldn’t read your intentions about why you were visiting me.”

“How could you not tell? I came all the way here for you.”

“You have a stronger sense of responsibility than most people. Knowing your strait-laced personality, I figured your conscience needed to see me in the flesh to make sure I was doing well. And when you mentioned staying in a hotel, my suspicions were confirmed. So it’s not just my fault.”

Dick seemed adamant on insisting that Yuto was equally guilty. It made him a little angry, but Yuto let off from making further complaints as it was idiotic to start a fight over such a small thing.

Everything was out in the open now, and it had turned out to be much less of a big deal than they thought. They had simply both been afraid to make the first move because they were unable to read the other’s feelings. They had both been afraid of being honest with their feelings because they cared for each other, but had in fact felt the same way about each other all long. Both he and Dick were so clumsy about it, he found it almost funny.

“I never stopped thinking about you,” Dick said, wrapping his arms tightly around Yuto as if to offer an apology. “All I did was thinking about you – in prison, after I got out, and even after coming to this town.”

“Then why didn’t you come see me? You could have easily found out where I was from Neto.”

It wasn’t an accusation; he was genuinely curious. If Yuto hadn’t made the decision to come here, they would have remained apart forever. He couldn’t help but think, if you loved me, then why didn’t you—?

“All I’ve ever done is trample over your feelings. I put you through so much pain because I was caught up with my obsession and I could only think about avenging my teammates. I hurt you and made you suffer over and over again. I thought I was in no position to come and get you. I told myself you’d probably be happier with someone like Rob rather than a good-for-nothing like me.”

Yuto had no idea that Dick had been feeling so guilty toward him. Dick, on his side of things, had also been blaming himself this whole time.

“I’m so sorry,” said Dick.

“Dick, it’s alright,” Yuto smiled. “It’s all over. A lot of things happened, but now we’re able to be together like this. That’s enough to make me forget everything painful that happened in the past.”

“Thanks,” Dick murmured. “You’re really here right now, right?”

Yuto smiled at the strange question. “Of course. You think I’m a ghost or something?”

Dick detached himself and stroked Yuto’s face with his fingers.

“No, but I feel like I’m holding an illusion of you.”

Yuto grabbed ahold of Dick’s doubtful hand and bit down as hard as he could.

“Ouch! What was that for?”

“Look at the bite marks on your fingers. No ghost or illusion can do that.”

Dick’s lips twitched in a smile.

“I guess you’re right,” he said, gazing at his fingertips.

“—I don’t know for sure when. —What? Of course I’ll come back. I won’t live here forever. I’ll be back next week. —Okay. I’ll call you again.”

As Yuto hung up the phone, Dick looked up from where he was brushing the dog on the porch.

“What did Rob say?” he said brusquely.

“He freaked out when I told him I was going to stay here for a while. Thought I wasn’t going to come back. Rob tends to jump to conclusions, which can be a hassle sometimes.”

Yuto had decided to stay at Dick’s house for a while. Now that they knew they felt the same way about each other, there was no reason to hurry back home.

“You’ve stayed close friends with Rob, huh.”

“Yeah. Well, he’s a good guy.”

“Uh-huh,” said Dick flatly, staring at the fur-laden brush in his hand.

“—Dick, are you jealous? I told you Rob is really just a friend.”

“I know. But it still pisses me off. Anyway, you’re all done… dog.”

Thank goodness, the dog seemed to say as it sprawled out on the porch, released at last.

“Hey, Dick. You can’t just leave this dog nameless. Let’s think of a name for him.”

“No need. Just call him ‘dog’.”

Yuto rolled his eyes at Dick’s stubbornness.

“I’m going to head out to the beach for a bit,” Dick said. “C’mere… dog.”

The dog sprang to its feet and eagerly followed Dick. When Dick tossed a ball, it nimbly caught it in mid-air.

Yuto also slid on some sandals and headed down toward the beach with them. He stood on the sand and took a deep breath, letting the briny smell of the ocean fill his chest. It was a truly refreshing afternoon.

Dick and the dog went down to the shoreline where they began to play. Both quickly became soaked from the waves.

Yuto gazed at them from afar until Dick waved at him.

“Come join us, Yuto. It feels great.”

“Sure.”

Just as he set out to join them, Yuto was overwhelmed with a strong sense of déjà vu. Those words. This situation. He felt like he had experienced it before.

But that was impossible. Yuto had never been to the ocean with Dick, and he had never been to this town in all his life.

Yet, he knew he had seen this scene before. He was sure of it. He wondered for a while what it might be, until the answer hit him.

He had dreamed about this precise situation before. It was after he left Schelger Prison, on the plane to Quantico to enroll in the FBI Academy.

Dick had been strolling along the shoreline, wearing a peaceful expression on his face. In that dream, Dick had called Yuto’s name just like he was doing now.

In that plane, Yuto had realized that his faith was what would create the future. His strong wish would open up the path to his destiny.

That dream had come true. The paths of their lives had finally merged into one. Yuto’s refusal to give up had rewarded him with the present – the future that was an extension of his past.

“Hey, Dick!”

Just as Yuto drew up to Dick, they heard a voice from somewhere. They turned to see a red pickup truck parked on the road. Joey was waving from the driver’s seat.

“I caught a fish today that I left on your front step. Cook up something for your friend over there!”

“Thanks as always, man,” Dick called back.

“I got some jerky for Yutie, too!”

The dog started barking at Joey. It almost looked like he was rejoicing at Joey’s words. Joey honked three times before driving off.

“Yutie…? Is that the dog’s name?”

The dog barked at him as if to say, “You bet!” He clearly knew its name.

“Did you name him after me?” Yuto asked.

Dick was looking somewhere far off as if to disguise his sheepishness.

“Did you lie and say he didn’t have a name because you didn’t want me to find out? You’re making me roll my eyes here.”

“—Not like I could help it. I was embarrassed,” Dick muttered, looking sullen as he started walking toward the house. Is this something to get mad about? Yuto sighed inwardly. Tonya was right when she said Dick was shy.

“So, you love me so much you named your dog after me?” Yuto teased as a smile played on his lips, a spark of mischief making him want to push Dick’s buttons even more. Dick whipped around to face Yuto.

“Yeah, I do. I love you very much. You got a problem with that?”

“…No.”

Dick folded his arms as if to say, Good. As long as you get it. Yuto couldn’t help but wonder how he could be so arrogant about something like this.

Dick had a difficult side that made him a finicky lover. Yuto heaved an ostensibly big sigh tinged with a bit of criticism toward Dick. Dick made a sullen face again.

“What? If you have something to say, say it.”

“It’s nothing.”

As Yuto turned his face away and started walking, Dick hastily came after him.

“Hey, Yuto. If you’ve got a complaint, tell me. I mean, please. I’m begging you.”

Yuto continued walking nonchalantly, feeling amused at Dick’s desperation. Suddenly, he was grabbed by the arm from behind.

“Are you angry at me?” Dick murmured, looking crestfallen. “If I’ve pissed you off, tell me. I won’t mind if you point out my problems, either. So don’t ignore me.”

Apparently, he really thought Yuto was angry.  Yuto decided to finally forgive the man and turned to him with a smile. Dick looked relieved as he let go of his arm.

“I have so many shortcomings. I’m afraid that one day you’d get sick of me.”

“Dick Burnford, afraid? If the guys at Schelger Prison heard that, their eyes would pop out of their sockets,” Yuto teased. Dick shrugged, looking genuinely morose.

“You’re the perfect one for me, but I’m not the perfect one for you.”

“Dick, stop that. No one’s a perfect lover.” The term reminded Yuto of something Rob had said.

The One was not someone you met; it was someone you chose. Instead of chasing an ideal, one should choose one person and love them with everything. Loving one person for a hundred years was much better than loving one hundred different people. Those were Rob’s words, and Yuto thought he was right.

“Dick, you don’t have to be the perfect lover. —But I want to ask you to do something instead.”

“Sure. Anything,” nodded Dick, his face serious. Yuto suppressed the urge to laugh as he replied.

“I want you to love only me for a hundred years.”

“You’re telling me to live until I’m a hundred and thirty?” Dick asked in all seriousness.

“Yeah. Live long for me, will you?”

“I’ll try my best, but…” Dick said dubiously. Yuto laughed and bumped him with his body.

“Shouldn’t you go put the fish in the fridge?”

“Oh, right. Let’s go home, then.”

Dick smiled and put an arm around Yuto’s shoulders, pulling him in closer. Yutie trotted behind as they walked along the beach side by side.

“Yuto.”

“Hm?”

“Wanna live together?” Dick said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“You mean here?”

“It could be anywhere. Here, LA, some other place. I can live anywhere, as long as I’m with you.”

“Is that so?” Yuto said, nodding and savouring an unending joy that washed over him. “I want to live with you, too. But before we go into that, Dick – there’s something I want to ask you first. It’s very important.”

“What?” Dick asked, peering a little anxiously into Yuto’s face.

“Will you tell me your real name?”

“Oh…” Dick looked surprised for a moment before breaking out into a sheepish grin. “You got me,” he said. “I didn’t tell you yet, did I?”

“No, you didn’t. I think I deserve to know now, don’t you think?” Yuto said, patting his chest. Dick laughed as he brought his lips close to Yuto’s ear.

“My name is—”

“Uh-huh.”

Dick’s breath carried a hint of a laugh as it touched his earlobe. It felt ticklish, but Yuto did his best to endure it as he listened carefully for the name of his one and only love.

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Afterword

Hello, this is Aida. This book marks the end of the Deadlock series.

Dick’s and Yuto’s love began in prison. Now that they’ve finally settled down to where they should, I’m heaving a giant sigh of relief. When the white beach of Yuto’s dreams appeared in real life, I cried even more than Yuto did (laughs).

Deadshot means a bullet that’s hit the bullseye. The title for this last volume was inspired by ideas like: who’s ‘hit the mark’ with whom? What will come of the love and ambitions that pierce the character’s hearts?

“I want to write a prison story” was the starting point of this series, but I figured three volumes’ worth of prison stories would be a little bit too much. So, I figured that starting from the second volume, these inmates with mysterious pasts could go out into the world.

There weren’t many pages with romantic scenes, perhaps because my motives were so focused on the prison aspect, but I think Yuto’s faithful love toward Dick flowed like a current consistently throughout the work.

I’d decided that when the case was solved, Yuto’s and Dick’s love would finally come to fruition. I’ve been writing the series with a singular focus toward that finish line. Now, they’ve finally gotten together after many obstacles, hardships, struggles, and detours. All for the sake of this catharsis… (laughs).

To my editor, M: thank you for all your hard work. Or I should say, sorry for making you work so hard. This series wouldn’t have been born if it weren’t for you. I was able to reach the end because you accepted what I wanted to write wholeheartedly and supported me all the way.

While I was writing this book, I was at my lowest point physically and mentally. I almost gave up countless times. If you hadn’t been my editor, I might not have made it. I was able to power through it thanks to your unwavering encouragement and warm understanding. Thank you so, so much.

To Yu Takashina, who undertook the illustrations: I was in total awe from beginning to end over the many wonderful illustrations that made me swoon every time I looked at them. I caused you so much trouble, but you gave me words of encouragement in return. They gave me a lot of strength. I imagine how hard it must have been on such a tight schedule. I would like to sincerely apologize but at the same time, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m very glad that I was able to work with you.

When the first volume came out, I was uncertain if readers would enjoy it, but I was very happy to receive much more supportive feedback than I was expecting. Although this story is concluded, I can only hope that this Deadlock series will live on in your hearts.

I am currently running a blog where I post updates on my recent activities. Please take a look if you like: <Saki Aida Information Blog: http://blog.aidax.net>

I have one piece of good news: the first volume of Deadlock is becoming a drama CD! It is scheduled to go on sale from InterCommunications in the fall. Life in an all-male prison… I’m looking forward to seeing how it will turn out. Please give it a listen.

It has been a whole three years since my first book came out. This is my twentieth work. I feel like it is a bit of a milestone. I hope we can meet again in one of my new works.

Saki Aida

June 2007